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Tonight Jessica and I decided to go to one of our favorite places to have dessert - the Double T Diner in Frederick MD. This is the place with all the amazing pies, and they give you the mother of all slices on top of it. Expect to budget around a thousand calories for dessert. And that's not an exaggeration.

So we walk in and get seated, and end up with the slowest walking waitress of all time. I mean she took 5 minutes to get to our table from the front counter, and it was only 20 feet.

Jess started off with a coffee, and I got a glass of water. For dessert, Jess got a piece of baklava (which was the size of around 4 traditional pieces of baklava), but to my horror, they were out of Boston Cream pie - my favorite. Well, against my better judgement, I did not order pie, but instead I decided to try their cake. So I ordered a slice of German chocolate cake, not realizing it was laced with coconut, which I cannot stand (I thought it was the Black Forest cake that had coconut), so I slid that over to Jess.

Not having learned my lesson, I ordered a second slice of cake - chocolate triple layer cake. What I did not expect was for the cake part of this cake to be as dry as Cheops mummy. It was like sticking a fork into a piece of balsa wood. I ate half of it and left the rest for dead. But of course we hate wasting food, so we took it to go.

When the waitress returned, I asked for a "to go" box. 10 minutes later, she finally showed up with it (after all, it was a whole 30 feet away). When she put the box on the table, I started to put my leftover cake in it, but she said, "Oh, let ME do that." At which point she stuck a fork under it and then grabbed it with her FILTHY BARE THUMB. So now I not only had a piece of dry, fossilized cake, but a piece of dry fossilized cake with a BIG NASTY THUMB PRINT right on the icing. Oh well, at least it wasn't her index finger, which she had a BIG OOZING CUT on.

I think I may have to get drunk the first time in my life in order to finish that piece of cake.

On the bright side, the baklava was good, and we ordered 5 pieces to take home (which we were over-charged for) for our dinner party tomorrow night.

Sheesh, the trouble you go through to get a decent dessert sometimes.